Desperation and HopeĀ 

That’s a pretty dramatic title but hey I’m a dramatic kinda girl!

When I started my blog I promised myself and also documented it in writing that I would write honestly. This is after all, a blog taking you on my journey from employee to business owner and beyond.  It won’t be easy, I always knew that!  It is with that thought that I decided this week to write about how I have been feeling over the last 7 days.

This week has been tough. Returning from a beautiful holiday is never easy. Returning from holiday to 700 emails at a time when you are being made redundant, in a week when you are being formally assessed by the CIPD and you’re trying to focus on a bright future and when that future is so alien to you, I can tell you now is utterly hideous.

I think that some of my panic, worry and upset has been triggered by a significant milestone in the change process of my currrent employment. Group consultation has closed and the proposal is now final. Meaning being served my notice is one step closer and the reality and enormity of this huge change is slamming me in the face daily.  Yes I have my plan and I am well on my way to setting up Sparkle HR but this week I’ve found myself doubting all of that. I’ve doubted my ability, progress, decision making and sanity!

I think it is because I am not in a great frame of mind that everything seems so scary.

It’s not all been bad though. I’ve been listening to a podcast called Style your Mind by Cara Alwill, she is a life coach and focuses on women who want to empower themselves and build a beautiful life.  I’ve also used a site called Fiverr to source a creative to do my branding. So, she has my brief and I can’t wait to see what she comes up with. Sparkle HR is about to get a logo!

My point of telling you all of this is not to start your Friday off in a depressing way or to look for sympathy. My point is that I need to acknowledge for myself that it’s been hard and hard days will continue to come. I have to face in to them. I am also sharing because I hope that this helps others to know you’re not alone. I’m sure lots of people have been on a similar journey to me in the past and I know lots of people will be on the same one right now.

Find the moments of light in a dark week and acknowledge them. Feel proud of them.

So yes, it’s been hard, but there has been some positive baby steps forward and I’m determined to keep the momentum up and to squash the negativity and worry.

Decide the kind of person you want to be and go be them, but do not let a bad day become a bad week, month or year.

It always seems impossible until it’s done – Mandela

Love Laura x